To be honest, I really don't have any particular topic in mind this time around, but I feel like I owe it to the two of you who read this column every month to make an effort. This has been a hell of an eventful month, but I've been too busy living it to bother analyzing it, which I think is the way most things should go.

It hasn't been particularly good, but it hasn't been bad, either. Amber went to Malaysia and came back without being raped or robbed or getting eaten by anything, but now she's off to Columbus for an internship all summer. To those of you who live with the person you love, please don't ever take that person for granted. Don't do it.

     I finished up a class in interface design where I had to learn both SQL and PHP in a week, and ended up with an A. It's amazing to me that old cliches can turn out to be right so often, but I suppose that's a question of knowing where to look. After all, take "Out of sight, out of mind," and "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." You can usually find a proverb that'll say anything you like, or at least can be interpreted to do so. Alot like The Bible, actually.

     Which reminds me that my parents came up for dinner tonight, and we had a thoroughly good time. My mother commented that God must really want me to be here at Hiram, because she recently received my financial award letter and it was larger than expected. I asked her why He gave me such a hard time while I was here, then, and she mumbled something about it not being the work of God, but of humans. I let the subject drop, and it didn’t really bother me. Maturing is a strange process, and wonderful.

     And speaking of maturity, I completely flipped out earlier today and screamed at Sam. I was in a pissy mood because I haven't been getting enough sleep and he explained it to his girlfriend as me not wanting my family to come up. Of course I called him a dumbass for projecting his own feelings onto me, and of course he got pissed, which is when I screamed something about dumbasses and stomped out of the room. It's a strange friendship we have. As long as there's no-one else around we're usually perfectly fine, but throw another person in and we start being total dicks to each other for no damned good reason.

     A note to anyone who’s convinced themselves that they are not self-righteous. You are.

     I’m sitting here writing this while I should be checking on the computer center’s backups. There’s a gentleman here with me named Matt, who works in the Helpdesk with me, and is probably the most skilled person on this entire campus with computers, including the professors. Yet, he’s humble almost to the point of self-degradation. And I had confused humility with a lack of confidence, until now. He’s currently playing some Creed album at many more decibels than should be legal, and singing at the top of his lungs. Badly. I suppose, if he kept it up for an hour or so, he’d get all the right notes eventually, but it’s really not bothering me. I’m just completely fucking awed that he thinks so little of my opinion on his singing ability (not that I’ve given it, but still.) A day that goes by when you can’t look around and have your mouth drop open is one that wasn’t worth getting up on.

     I was talking to the other folks at work here today, and they were talking about how they were expected to get married before they were out of college. In fact, my manager told us that her mother was pressuring her to get married even before she finished high school. She’s divorced now. Call me a retard, but I just don’t get this. I’m not against marriage, and in fact I hold it in very high esteem, but it’s not the fucking be-all and end-all of life. A person who does not wish to marry but is happy with his/her life is just as well off as a person who is married and happy, which seems ridiculously obvious but obviously isn’t.

     It’s not like I’m breaking new ground here, though. “Oh, my! You say a marriage may be flawed! That’s simply not possible! Let’s go the speakeasy and discuss this!” It’s weird how everyone thinks they’re the first to come up with these things, even when they know deep down inside that they’re not. I’d be willing to believe there really isn’t an original idea left, but the thing is: it doesn’t bother me. Maybe everyone’s just running around rehashing what’s been before, but there’s been so much before that no-one has time in one life to hear everything, or see everything, or read half of everything. Is that where reincarnation comes in? Has everything already been thought of millennia ago, with the Buddha and Christ and Mohammed, and of course all the other gods and holy men and saints which are too numerous to mention. Is reincarnation only around so everyone gets a chance to see everything before they ship off this planet for good?

smoke